There’s a few things I’d like for Christmas. If that’s too much to ask for, there’s a few things I need to buy. While I’ve been either lying in bed, or lying on the couch over the past few days experiencing the full on fibromyalgia attack (note, not a flare! See Namby-Pamby Flares) I have realised there are a few things I need.
Firstly I need a laptop. Please Santa. I’ve been ‘writing’ posts in my mind as I’ve lain there unable to sleep. They probably didn’t make much sense, but if I had a laptop I wouldn’t have to transcribe onto paper for later when I could sit at my desktop computer.
Even my two year old niece was watching Dora The Explorer on her mother’s laptop the other day. If L can use a laptop then surely I should be allowed to write my posts from bed, or the couch. Shouldn’t I? My bank account says otherwise so I’m really pinning my hopes on Santa. Really Santa, I do believe! Everything you say is true! Absolutely!
I Want To Float
Why do I want to float? Because with fibro, pressure from anything hurts. Whether I am sitting on a chair, lying on the bed, anything. Even standing makes my feet hurt. So I don’t want to be on anything. I want to float.
What are my options? Well, we’re short of swimming pools in my part of Christchurch thanks to the earthquakes of 2010/11. The two public pools that were on my side of the town have been destroyed. We’re waiting on the replacements, like many other things. No doubt we’ll be waiting a while and I don’t mind. Personally I think fixing homes is more important, but the Government didn’t ask me and I see they’re fixing children’s paddling pools at parks. So swimming pools can be too far off.
I live only 10 minutes drive from the sea so I could take to the beach. The only thing is that if I’m going to float in the sea I really have to have my eyes open to watch for stray waves, and perhaps sharks. Somehow I just don’t see that as practical. It wouldn’t be very relaxing.
One of my favourite television programmes is the English Absolutely Fabulous. I love it, and actually when required, I can do a pretty good Eddy impersonation. Eddy had a floatation tank in her house. While the idea of getting in a tank and closing the lid leaves me a little claustrophobic, the length of the tank she had seems like just what I need.
I have a bathtub in my house but I’m tall, and I can’t stretch out totally and float. What I need is an extra long bath. Maybe seven and a half feet long. I’m thinking that when the earthquake repairs are finally done to my home ( before, or after the swimming pools) I can have the bathroom extended to include my extra long bath. It would be bliss. If yoiu can’t find me, that’s where I’ll be.
Whether or not the insurance company and government combination responsible for the repairs would be willing to help is questionable. But I might just remind them that my fibro was apparently caused by earthquake trauma. How can they say no to that?
One more thing I want while we’re at it…
I want to float
Yes, again I want to float. But this time, not on water.
As I’ve said before (see Serious Attitude Problem), Christmas is not my favourite my of year. I might not have been doing anything practical this week in terms of getting ready for Christmas, but I have been thinking. Unfortunately I haven’t been doing the thinking I needed to like ‘how am I going to get my shopping done and not stress out with all the crowds now that school is out?‘ Instead I’ve been thinking ‘how can I get out of this?‘
Much as I have no desire to repeat those years, the years I spent Christmas in hospital or respite care had their very definite advantages – the ability to ignore reality. In hindsight I admit that it was very convenient to have to miss everything about Christmas just because I was entombed in a psychiatric hospital. You have to admit, it’s a pretty plausible excuse. I’m not going back there and I know now that I’m a ‘big girl’ and I have to face reality, but don’t we all need our own escape plans?
Mine? Well New Zealand is said to be the adventure tourism capital of the world, so the last thing I want is a hot hair balloon. That way I can just float away when it all gets too much. That wil be me running from the family Christmas barbeque (remember it’s summer here), jumping in the basket… and away I float. Bliss And by the way,in true introvert style, it will just me… and someone who can drive/fly this thing. Wish me luck.
“You never really know what’s coming. A small wave, or maybe a big one. All you can really do is hope that when it comes, you can surf over it, instead of drown in its monstrosity.”
― Alysha Speer
- Namby-Pamby Flares (infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com)
- Serious Attitude Problem (infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com)