I started blogging because I had already been writing (a book called Infinite Sadness) and I wanted to keep writing with what I hoped would be a potentially wider audience. At the time the book was published, I felt like severe chronic mental illness would always be a major, and possibly life-threatening, issue in my life.
I’ve changed my mind. Maybe there was hope for something better. I’ve decided that there is something more than infinite sadness and so I want to share my journey of hope with you.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), diagnosed some 17 years after treatment began. Until then I was simply described as treatment resistant. I hate that term. There are a few other labels attached to my name too. I’ll get into those as I write.
Am I crazy? Probably. Is it ‘all in my head’? Absolutely, that’s where my brain resides. Is it easy? No, it’s damn hard.
To add to the mix, the last couple of years have seen a dramatic decline in my physical health. In 2010 I was diagnosed with the auto-immune condition Graves’ Disease. It was caused by medication I took (and still take) for my mental illness. But then that medication is saving my life so it’s a huge dilemma. One that too many people face.
The major focus for my physical health is that I have Fibromyalgia, a harsh condition often brought on by auto-immune diseases and severe trauma. It consists of pain and more pain. And fatigue. And a thing called cognitive dysfunction (or brain fog). Plus a whole heap more possible symptoms. It’s not nice, Both of these conditions are with me for life, although they won’t kill me.
I write about all of these things, as I fight for a return of mental health and a means of managing my physical issues. Want to know more? Start reading. I hope you enjoy my writing.
It’s important that you know something of the type of person I am, aside from health issues. Compassion and kindness are essential to me. Animal welfare matters greatly. Of war and peace, I will always side with peace. There simply has to be other ways to solve difference than to kill innocent people. I strongly detest guns, and see no reason why people carry them. If they think it is for protection, they are fooling themselves. I don’t believe guns will ever solve anything.
All that said, I accept that we are all different beings with different experiences and backgrounds. I’m sure these things contribute to our beliefs and opinions, and so accept that your thinking might be quite different from mine.
And finally a few things you just need to know about me:
- My favourite colour is green.
- The best way to start the day is with coffee. The best coffee I can afford (which doesn’t say much).
- I have never learnt how to properly tie shoelaces. I have tried and tried but it seems completely beyond me.
- Five years ago I lived through the Christchurch Earthquakes of 2010/11. Don’t get me started. Those quakes changed my life forever.
There is so much more in my blog, so start reading.
“Writing is the only way I have to explain my own life to myself.”
– Pat Conroy