Blessed… And Otherwise

If you’ve been following my posts (and I know how hard it is to stay updated) you will know that, for a variety of reasons, I have been having a tough time lately.  Because of the need to protect privacy I haven’t been able to go into the details of what’s been happening.  Regardless of that, you as readers, reached out to me in the past few days in a way that has left me feeling very blessed.

The support I have had through, both this blog and, other social mediums has been amazing.  Thank you so much.  You remind me that human beings are really very good beings, and that we are lucky to have each other.

Something that has really helped me is the number of people who have told me recently that I, through this blog, make a difference in their lives.  Wow!  I don’t care about being ‘freshly pressed‘ (okay WordPress, go ahead if you insist, but it’s not what I’m here for) and I don’t feel the need of thousands of readers.  If I make a difference in simply one person’s life?  Then that is absolutely enough for me.  That makes it worthwhile.  More than worthwhile.  So thank you to those of you who took the time to tell me how my blog helps you.  That helped me enormously.

Actually Sunday, the day I last posted, was the first day I had felt some peace for several months.  Nothing was fixed, healed or even put right.  But I knew I was supported, and that was enough

But unfortunately this time there is the ‘otherwise’.  Sometimes we do things with the best of intentions, and in those times we would never mean for anyone to be hurt.  But sometimes because we don’t know all the facts, or the history behind the situation, or even the personal histories of the people involved… it can backfire.  We meant to support, but in reality, harm was caused.

This is what has happened for me this time.  I’m not upset with the person involved (I don’t actually know, or want to know, who it was) but some things were said in support of me, which actually triggered a whole lot of historical fears and worries and well as some interpersonal issues I could have done without.  Think Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  These traumas have a habit of repeating on us, often when we least expect it.  Especially when we think we’ve finally got through it.  Slam!  And it’s back in our faces again.

I’m only sharing this because it has been a lesson for me, and I thought maybe someone else might gain something from it.  It’s one thing to be careful with words that we use, but we also need to think through the consequences of what is said.  Sometimes that’s out of our hands, but other times it is in our hands.  I also don’t believe that we are responsible for the actions of the person we speak to, but I do believe our words and intentions should always be made with kindness and compassion as their core.

The person involved could probably have never foreseen what happened, but that simply reminds me that we need to be aware of what we don’t know.

I am very blessed by the support I have had, and that includes the person who spoke up seemingly on my behalf.  I appreciate the good intention and so thank you.  I guess we just need to be careful with each other in so many ways.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding… And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy” 

― Kahlil Gibran

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4 thoughts on “Blessed… And Otherwise

  1. I always say PTSD is the gift that just keeps on giving. As much as I don’t want this to come off as negative, because I have made such terms with it as I can, I know I have worked through all of my PTSD issues which can be worked through. And I also know that some never can be, not altogether, so they will jump out at me from time to time for the rest of my days. And that simply is, and I handle them as they come.

    I was trying to tell you something in there, but I got a little lost. In any case, I love you, my #InfiniteCate. ❤

  2. For some strange reason – think I’ve said before – you do not seem to be coming up on my reader. I am so touched to hear of the support you feel around you. I have experienced similar on WordPress and you have made a HUGE difference to my overall blogging experience.

    I’m Mr Paranoid…lol… and hope it wasn’t me who upset you through my misinterpretation of the Grizzly post!?

    I’ve suffered PTSD for 22 years now. Sometimes I think I have recovered until….. Who knows if we can ever FULLY recover.

    I will pass on the McCartney song posted 11th)….gulp…never been my favourite ;0)

    1. Hi Cat, I have terrible problems with my reader and have largely given up on it because I was missing too much. I hope they get their act sorted soon.

      And to Mr Paranoid, No! Absolutely not. You have not upset me in the slightest. I’m glad you asked though, because that is so much better than sitting half a world away wondering. 🙂

      As for PTSD and do we recover? I suspect you might be right. I keep telling myself (foolishly, I know!) that I think I’m through the darkness, but then it just comes flying back in my face.

      Oh and music is always optional. 😀

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