I’ve taken a break from Facebook for a while. I’ll still keep my page (Infinite Sadness or what?)active but my personal profile is what I’m taking a break from.
I love my Facebook friends. Some of them are friends from way back, or family, and some are wonderful people I have got to know and love through of Facebook. But sometimes what I see on Facebook is too negative, and this time I have decided that it was affecting my health and I should take a short break. Just enough to gain my perspective back.
Why do I need this? You may well ask. Facebook has some wonderful features to it, but lately I’ve seen too much bitterness, hatred, intolerance, judgement and hurt. When I see too much of it, it starts to seep in and run me down. It comes from lots of sources. Some completely unknown to me, although appearing on my newsfeed anyway, and some closer to home.
I know there is also a lot of positive material on Facebook, and that’s why I put so much time into my page, but it’s hard to stay positive when that is being undermined.
The last few weeks have been pretty hard for me. That’s not just from one source but a number of unrelated issues in my life. My depressed mood has, in some cases, spun that out of proportion to the point where I was crying over the bowl my canine mate, Duncan needed to eat his dinner. Yes,really.
Those issues, and my depressed mood have contributed to a flare up of my fibromyalgia symptoms. That’s not unexpected for me. I strongly believe that my fibro is affected by my emotions and my state of mind. I know most sufferers disagree with this theory, and that’s fine. It is however proven in my mind that my emotions influence the level of physical pain and fatigue I experience.
Last night after a day of bad nerve pain which was addling my brain, I accidentally took the wrong medication. This wasn’t an intentional overdose, nor was it a suicide attempt. It was simply that my mind wasn’t on the job when I was getting my medication for the night, and I got it wrong. Stupid really, but it happened.
The night that followed was full of nightmares, and at one stage a belief that I was plummeting toward psychosis. Actually I was terrified. It was one pill I wasn’t supposed to have (with the others) and I was pretty unwell.
Today I am fine and I am reminded that when we put poison in, the outcome is also poison. The poison that time was nightmares and a general ‘I’m going crazy‘ notion. But it ties in with what I said about Facebook. When I feed my mind with too much negativity from Facebook, then I feel that negativity. I simply don’t want to go there and I certainly don’t want to end up generating more.
It is really important to me to be there for my friends, but if I don’t take care of myself then I can be no use to anyone else. Whether that is conveyed in depressed mood, fibro symptoms, taking the wrong medication or anything else. I have to look after me.
The ‘garbage in, garbage out’ theory is one I am well aware of from a nutritional basis. I admit I’m not too good at following it, but I know how it works. My mother was a dietitian after all, and I have had an eating disorder.
It’s the same for emotions. If I don’t feed myself with good messages, then I get sick. That’s not something I want.
“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.”
― Deborah Day