This Is Getting On My Nerves

Or an alternative title which I could turn into a song?

‘There’s Coke In My Veins’

How does that sound for a song title?  Lyrics have never really been my thing, but I had this brainwave so decided to share it with you.  Let me be clear though, that I am not talking cocaine here,  I mean coke, as in coca-cola.

Image credit: Mike Gonzalez (TheCoffee)

Right now my fibromyalgia is getting on my nerves, both literally and figuratively.  This past week I have started tingling (according to the texts) but I prefer fizzing.  I feel like someone came along in the middle of the night (Sunday night, I think) and switched my blood for coke.  It’s not just my hands and feet either.  It’s every where.  And I have this weird, what seems like a permanent state of feeling like all my hairs are standing up on end.  I am in a permanent state of shock.

I know using the word permanent is probably exaggerating, but on day five it feels like it has turned permanent, and I don’t like it.  Actually it’s very… uncomfortable and weird.

I learnt quickly that fibro is one of those conditions that is different for each person.  For me, it seems that nerve pain, fatigue and brain fog are perhaps the worst of the following list of symptoms.  Don’t be mistaken though, and think this is the complete list.  I’m sure most fibro sufferers could identify other symptoms that exist for them.

Here’s some of the symptoms of fibro:

  • Chronic muscle pain, muscle spasms or tightness
  • Moderate or severe fatigue and decreased energy
  • Insomnia or waking up feeling just as tired as when you went to sleep
  • Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long
  • Difficulty remembering, concentrating, and performing simple mental tasks (“fibro fog”)
  • Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and constipation alternating with diarrhea (irritable bowel syndrome)
  • Tension or migraine headaches
  • Jaw and facial tenderness
  • Sensitivity to one or more of the following: odors, noise, bright lights, medications, certain foods, and cold
  • Feeling anxious or depressed
  • Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet
  • Increase in urinary urgency or frequency (irritable bladder)
  • Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise
  • A feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands and feet (actually I get this in my knees)

Fibromyalgia Health Center, Web, MD

As you can probably tell, it’s not fun.  As I said, one of the biggest struggles for me is nerve pain, which doesn’t even really show up on this list.  Regularly I feel like I have electricity pulsing through my body, some times burning as it goes, now tingling as it goes.  (My brother, who is lucky I love him dearly, kindly suggested I remove my fingers from the light socket).  The weird thing about nerve pain for me is that it doesn’t physically prevent me from movement, and actually sometimes movement is best because it masks the pain.  But then fatigue means that constant movement isn’t such a good idea, let alone a possibility.  I’ve learnt that the hard way.

This week has been a write-off as a result.  The fatigue and brain fog, added to feeling like a bottle of coke, leave writing too much for me.  My brain just won’t work how I want it to, and without the aid of spell-check you’d be unable to read this.  Reading other bloggers posts has also been pretty much out of the question because I just can’t focus.  I try, and find myself either distracted, or simply going back and forth over the same line.

So if you’ve missed my posts this week, this is my excuse. And if you think I’ve missed that special post you wrote and thought was a major contender for ‘fresh pressed’?  I haven’t missed it.  I will get there.  I have an enormous pile of posts to read.  It seems to be growing by the hour, and probably serves me right for developing an addiction to the word ‘follow’.  Meanwhile, fibro wins.  Damn it!

PS.  No sympathy required.  We all have our trials and battles, This one is simply one of mine.  Just send dark chocolate.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”   

―    Haruki Murakami


23 thoughts on “This Is Getting On My Nerves

    1. That’s an interesting point you raise. I don’t think it does, well not that I’m aware of anyway but I’m not closed off to the possibility. I dont’ really know a lot about body memories but maybe it’s time I did some reading. Thanks for raising it.

  1. Write4Publish

    I wish I could offer some help. My friend uses voice to email and write on the computer because of pain in her hands and arms. She also uses daily heated pool; not sure if it’s what you’ve got. Get back to you.

    1. Thank you so much for the ideas. I get as far as a hot bath. 🙂 A heated pool would be great, but not possible at the moment. Most of the pools in my city are still shut from earthquake damage but the bath is great. 🙂

  2. I wonder more and more if I have fibromyalgia. Now my daughter is having the symptoms. It is terrible, and I am sorry you are ging through this. How does one get tested for this to know for sure?

    1. Firsly, I really hope you don’t have it. It’s awful. But you shoudlt alk to your doctor, perferably a rhuematologist would be able to advise you best. Good luck. ❤

  3. at the fibro clinic where I work most of my patients allege that the fatigue is even more of a nightmare than the pain. Even when they want to be motivated they can’t.
    About half the docs we talk to don’t believe in FM. Having watched 2-3000 come in to the clinic I’m pretty convinced…

    1. I’m so glad to hear that you are convinced. It’s interesting because I am developing a pretty good awareness of when my physical pain/fatigue is linke to what’s going on for me emotionally. I have a therapist who is excellent at helping me work through that one, but my experience is that if I make any suggestion of it to a medical doctor, then I am immediately written off as not being authentically in need of their help. I’m learning too when to keep my mouth shut. I suspect you understand that one… sadly. 😉

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