Or an alternative title which I could turn into a song?
‘There’s Coke In My Veins’
How does that sound for a song title? Lyrics have never really been my thing, but I had this brainwave so decided to share it with you. Let me be clear though, that I am not talking cocaine here, I mean coke, as in coca-cola.
Right now my fibromyalgia is getting on my nerves, both literally and figuratively. This past week I have started tingling (according to the texts) but I prefer fizzing. I feel like someone came along in the middle of the night (Sunday night, I think) and switched my blood for coke. It’s not just my hands and feet either. It’s every where. And I have this weird, what seems like a permanent state of feeling like all my hairs are standing up on end. I am in a permanent state of shock.
I know using the word permanent is probably exaggerating, but on day five it feels like it has turned permanent, and I don’t like it. Actually it’s very… uncomfortable and weird.
I learnt quickly that fibro is one of those conditions that is different for each person. For me, it seems that nerve pain, fatigue and brain fog are perhaps the worst of the following list of symptoms. Don’t be mistaken though, and think this is the complete list. I’m sure most fibro sufferers could identify other symptoms that exist for them.
Here’s some of the symptoms of fibro:
- Chronic muscle pain, muscle spasms or tightness
- Moderate or severe fatigue and decreased energy
- Insomnia or waking up feeling just as tired as when you went to sleep
- Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long
- Difficulty remembering, concentrating, and performing simple mental tasks (“fibro fog”)
- Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and constipation alternating with diarrhea (irritable bowel syndrome)
- Tension or migraine headaches
- Jaw and facial tenderness
- Sensitivity to one or more of the following: odors, noise, bright lights, medications, certain foods, and cold
- Feeling anxious or depressed
- Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet
- Increase in urinary urgency or frequency (irritable bladder)
- Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise
- A feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands and feet (actually I get this in my knees)
As you can probably tell, it’s not fun. As I said, one of the biggest struggles for me is nerve pain, which doesn’t even really show up on this list. Regularly I feel like I have electricity pulsing through my body, some times burning as it goes, now tingling as it goes. (My brother, who is lucky I love him dearly, kindly suggested I remove my fingers from the light socket). The weird thing about nerve pain for me is that it doesn’t physically prevent me from movement, and actually sometimes movement is best because it masks the pain. But then fatigue means that constant movement isn’t such a good idea, let alone a possibility. I’ve learnt that the hard way.
This week has been a write-off as a result. The fatigue and brain fog, added to feeling like a bottle of coke, leave writing too much for me. My brain just won’t work how I want it to, and without the aid of spell-check you’d be unable to read this. Reading other bloggers posts has also been pretty much out of the question because I just can’t focus. I try, and find myself either distracted, or simply going back and forth over the same line.
So if you’ve missed my posts this week, this is my excuse. And if you think I’ve missed that special post you wrote and thought was a major contender for ‘fresh pressed’? I haven’t missed it. I will get there. I have an enormous pile of posts to read. It seems to be growing by the hour, and probably serves me right for developing an addiction to the word ‘follow’. Meanwhile, fibro wins. Damn it!
PS. No sympathy required. We all have our trials and battles, This one is simply one of mine. Just send dark chocolate.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami
- A Letter of Fibro Musings (infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com)
- Fibro Fear?!? (infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com)
- Fibro Backlash (infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com)
- Fibro Fog!! (ablokewithfibro.wordpress.com)
- Fibro Symptom Tracker (littlefallofrain.wordpress.com)
- A Magic Pill? Not! (fibromodem.wordpress.com)
- Fibro Fog!! (shedspeak.wordpress.com)